So I went to my best friends grad party. I made it there in one piece and even remembered how to get there and back! Anxiety not too bad but I did get a migraine on the way to her house. I made a playlist to listen to along the way so I had some favorite songs for me to sing and distract myself.
I went early to help her get ready. I hadn’t seen some of her friends and family for years but I knew some of them from before so it wasn’t THAT stressful. I didn’t need anti-anxiety meds. I’m not a good mingler so I just stuck in the kitchen mostly with her mum and her auntie.
The party was gorgeous. Everything was beautiful. Her gardens were wonderful, the food was wonderful. Ms. Martha Stewart. Everything was just perfect. She had a chocolate fountain, backyard games, appetizers, catered meal with a beautiful table. But it was comfortable and not stuffy. She inspires me to be a better person (in all ways) all the time.
I felt a little sad when she brought out a book that was signed by everyone at H’s baptism(of course, Martha knew exactly where to find it 🙂 I’m not sure why I wasn’t there. My face turned red and I could feel the tears building. When another friend of hers found her message I admit I was hurt. I’m just so sensitive. I took a deep breath and (tried) to let it go.
We grew distant slowly over the last decade. I think I felt like we weren’t connecting and her other friendships of people who lived closer made me jealous. Socializing with her husband and another couple also made me sad.
I’m just thankful that these last two years have brought us back together. Our kids are older. Marriages older. I think we have even more in common than before. I’m so thankful that she understands my mental illness and understands me. She gets it and I feel like I’ve had therapy session after we get together.