Social Anxiety, Parties and Best Friends

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I’m a little nervous this morning. My best friend is having a graduation party for her daughter. She is a nervous wreck so I’m going early to help her.

We’ve been friends for over 25 years. As our kids got older we grew apart. Living an hour away was a hinder.

We’ve never did a lot with our families together and it has always made me so sad.  My kids are a little older.  I wish she lived next door and I could pop over for coffee.  Our husbands are different.  Hers is an athlete, runner, preppy.  Mine is a workaholic, a little older, lumberjack type 😉 LOL.

Since I quit job and as my life fell apart we’ve met every other week or so for lunch, visiting and sometimes doing a little thrifting together.  Our friendship has never been stronger and she is an amazing support to me. Now that we’re back and closer than ever I wouldn’t miss the graduation party and I think she was happy.

I have to drive myself an hour away and I freak out driving.  I’ve driven to her house many times but I get so anxious I need the directions over again and then I’m stressing out thinking I’m going to get lost.  I worry I’ll flip over in the car, I’ll go off the road, my brakes will stop working. Aren’t I something else, huh.

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My social anxiety…I worry about what everyone is thinking about me.  If they are judging me, looking at what I’m wearing, my weight, my wrinkles. I know it’s all imaginary. I feel that self hatred coming through though and it was starting to disappear. I know it’s all imaginary but it’s hard to get out of my head.  I’m going to slip myself a klonapin once I arrive.

So I’ve already had a migraine.  I treated it and it’s on the back burner. I think it will be fun though.  I’m so happy I’m going to support and help my friend. She is planning a pretty big shindig with games and kids, catered.  As a side note my best friend is Martha Stewart.

This is long and rambling!  I better get going and get ready.  Thanks for listening to anyone who got through this!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/imaginary/

 

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