When I go to my primary care doctors it’s not unusual for me to cry. She is wonderful and kind but we are not in control of my illness(es). I cry while saying I wasn’t depressed. I didn’t know what was wrong.
I feel so vulnerable when I go to my doctors. Always. I’ve explained the whole thing, gave you all my symptoms, we’ve established the diagnosis. Please help me, please fix this. I can’t imagine what someone with a terminal illness or illness far more serious than me feels like. 😦
I wish I could control my migraines. Whatever I’m doing isn’t working. We try this, we try that. I look into something else. As silly as it sounds, it feels like a failure when we try something and it doesn’t work. I feel like another failure when I have to ask for a new refill (again) of my scripts. I can’t control them.
Bipolar is becoming a beast to control. So far I’ve failed a bunch of meds and none have worked on my depression. We increased my prozac a tiny bit and I think it might be helping a smidgen. Much less anxiety, anyway.
I feel like the best thing to take control of my illnesses is research, seeing my doctors regularly and keeping track of my symptoms. It helps me feel like I’m at least doing something to help myself.